So before you give up or move on to the next person — just stop and think. Everyone makes judgements, forms opinions. You go on what you see and hear from that person and fill in the gaps. You may also have a set type: the kind of person you are naturally physically attracted to and the kind of personality that appeals to you.

This closes you off to a lot of people. Attraction is vitally important. The person having your desirable qualities is too. But sometimes, you need to give people a little more of a chance to be able to see that. If you go into a new conversation with someone, with preconceptions then yes — it will be easy to rule them out.

But you may be ruling out some of the wrong people! You need more than that. People connect in different ways. If you also expect to meet someone, fall in love quickly, get married shortly after, start a family, life complete — then you also need a reality-check. This sucks the fun out of it and gives it less chance to naturally progress and evolve into everything that it can be. It saves time. However, there has to be a line….

Love does crazy things. You could meet them and realise what you thought was important, perhaps is not with them. For instance —. Or perhaps you wanted someone who was career-focused and driven. First impressions may make them come across as more care-free. See you can craft this picture-perfect dream person — which is great. The clearer you are on what you want, the more likely you will be to attract it and find it.

However, you have to be able to differentiate between the big things and little things to know when to give people a chance. There are the big things that should matter to you are based on what you know you need to be happy: a good sense of humor, a kind heart, family values, similar religious beliefs. You believe in fairytales, happily ever afters, that someone is out there who will just completely sweep you off your feet… and they might be, to some degree!

People can still make an impression, they can still treat you like a queen, take your breathe away in many ways. Everyone faces challenges and every couple has some sort of challenge at some time in the relationship — multiple times in fact.

You may also have been single a while out of choice — because you wanted to focus on yourself, enjoy single life as a stage in your life in its own right and maybe only now are you ready to open yourself up to it.

So think about it. Think which rings most true to you. Ask yourself why. Are you scared of getting hurt? excuses to put you off even the best of guys? You then want to get clear on what exactly you want. Think about it. This leads me onto my next point…. You decide what happens from here. These may be changes in terms of how you act, how quickly you shut people off and how willing you are to give people a chance.

And when it comes to online dating, you should be even more picky than you would be if you were to meet someone outside of an online dating site. We should go after the best, be patient, maintain hope, and keep searching for that one special someone that we know is ours, and is truly meant for us.

Your email address will not be published. Skip to content Facebook Twitter Pinterest Tumblr LinkedIn Email 79 Shares. About Latest Posts. Follow me. Anne Cohen. Founder, Owner, Writer, and Editor at Anne Cohen Writes. Anne Cohen is an entrepreneur, as well as a lifestyle and relationship writer based in Los Angeles, CA.

She started writing on arcwrites. com and shortly after created AnneCohenWrites. She has contributed to various publications including The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, and many more. She's passionate about love, living a healthy lifestyle, writing, chess, and more than anything, her two kids. Latest posts by Anne Cohen see all. More from Anne Cohen Writes Is Being Too Picky Causing You to Stay Single?

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You feel strong, confident and very much clear on what you want. See it can be a tricky question — a battle between what you want and what you need and whether your expectations are realistic, or too extreme. But we get the gist.

Your gut can tell you a lot. Other times however, it actually comes down to you being too picky. Like for example…. I mean, yes attraction is important. You should base it on in-person and if the romantic chemistry is there. You can also grow to find someone more attractive too, you know?

So this is a silly thing to rule someone out on. I mean, you may not love it, but is it really worth losing it all for? The relationship is simply progressing. The other side is cutting people off too fast because of their behaviour. The thing is, noone is perfect, yourself included. This means however, that people will make mistakes everyone does!

Yes, sometimes that is true. Sometimes it does fizzle, it does fade. But sometimes it actually just settles… which is a good thing. So before you give up or move on to the next person — just stop and think. Everyone makes judgements, forms opinions. You go on what you see and hear from that person and fill in the gaps. You may also have a set type: the kind of person you are naturally physically attracted to and the kind of personality that appeals to you. This closes you off to a lot of people.

Attraction is vitally important. The person having your desirable qualities is too. But sometimes, you need to give people a little more of a chance to be able to see that. If you go into a new conversation with someone, with preconceptions then yes — it will be easy to rule them out. But you may be ruling out some of the wrong people! You need more than that. People connect in different ways. If you also expect to meet someone, fall in love quickly, get married shortly after, start a family, life complete — then you also need a reality-check.

This sucks the fun out of it and gives it less chance to naturally progress and evolve into everything that it can be. It saves time. However, there has to be a line…. Love does crazy things.

You could meet them and realise what you thought was important, perhaps is not with them. For instance —. Or perhaps you wanted someone who was career-focused and driven. First impressions may make them come across as more care-free. See you can craft this picture-perfect dream person — which is great. The clearer you are on what you want, the more likely you will be to attract it and find it.

However, you have to be able to differentiate between the big things and little things to know when to give people a chance. There are the big things that should matter to you are based on what you know you need to be happy: a good sense of humor, a kind heart, family values, similar religious beliefs.

You believe in fairytales, happily ever afters, that someone is out there who will just completely sweep you off your feet… and they might be, to some degree! People can still make an impression, they can still treat you like a queen, take your breathe away in many ways. Everyone faces challenges and every couple has some sort of challenge at some time in the relationship — multiple times in fact.

You may also have been single a while out of choice — because you wanted to focus on yourself, enjoy single life as a stage in your life in its own right and maybe only now are you ready to open yourself up to it. So think about it. Think which rings most true to you. Ask yourself why. Are you scared of getting hurt? excuses to put you off even the best of guys? You then want to get clear on what exactly you want. Think about it. This leads me onto my next point…. You decide what happens from here.

These may be changes in terms of how you act, how quickly you shut people off and how willing you are to give people a chance. You should also see a shift in the way you look at it.

Decide to be a bit more open-minded. Decide that you want to be. Be kinder, more open, more willing, more understanding.

Also think about what you could be missing out on by NOT allowing this shift. A little unreasonable? You can still keep your standards and stick with the things that you know are important. Start asking yourself the questions that really matter. Sometimes you just have to open your heart, give the person a shot and find out a little further along.

So it is a bit of a balancing act. Let people in. Go with your heart initially. If someone draws you in, see where it goes. If you enjoy your time with them, get to know them further. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Menu HOME ABOUT BLOG COMMUNITY COACHING CONTACT Work With Me. Categories Breakups Single Dating Relationships Wellbeing. Spread the love.

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If you enjoy your time with them, get to know them further. It saves time. But sometimes, you need to give people a little more of a chance to be able to see that. excuses to put you off even the best of guys? Think about it. Sometimes you just have to open your heart, give the person a shot and find out a little further along. Are you scared of getting hurt?

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